1968 - 1972
Do Your Joys With Age Diminish?
When Mine Fail Me, I’ll Complain.
Must In Death Your Daylight Finish?
My Sun Sets To Rise Again.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
In January, Bob and my stepfather, George, worked for the March of Dimes, going around our neighborhood for collections.
On Bob's birthday we bought a used pickup and camper, so now we could go on a lot of weekend outings with our friends.
Dorothy Torney and I took a fascinating class in tailoring. The instructor, Mrs. Bierley, had such a love for sewing that I was wildly enthusiastic about beginning to make a garment in the class. I purchased brown wool and made a coat. I was very pleased with the results.
Dean seemed to me a very good baby. But at times, after having finished his bottle, he would throw up the entire contents without even showing any indication of being upset or of having any stomach discomfort. I didn't think this was normal for a small baby. I told Nikki and George that I thought this was unusual and didn't mention it again. Otherwise, Dean seemed healthy.
George Heck graduated from Eastern Washington University in the summer. After graduation, he and Nikki and Dean came by our house for dinner. We suddenly realized that they were packed up in the Mercedes and were on their way to Freeport, Maine. George's parents had bought them and had awaiting them a mobile home on 14 acres of land.
This day after dinner, I watched as Nikki took her place in the back seat of the car; watched as George loaded Dean into the front seat in his little carseat. And I was horrified when I realized that they were going to make a seven-month-old baby ride all the way to Maine sitting upright in a carseat -- from one end of the United States to the opposite other end of the United States!
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June 8, Ricky arrived home from his term at Vietnam. In April he had received the Soldier's Medal for heroism as Medical Aidman in the theater of the Republic of Vietnam. I'm quoting his citation: |
 Rick Ridenhour
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It was June 17, and Barry and Susan were leaving for London. Barry had one more year at W S U in order to to get his degree in Architectural Engineering. He won a grant to go to London and work for the summer. They paid out-of-pocket the expenses for Susan.
Barry worked for an architect firm that was responsible for the execution of sewer systems all over (or under?) London. There already were many networks of sewer systems, at many levels throughout, installed with the development of the city during untold past centuries.
Barry and Susan spent the last two weeks of their summer touring parts of Europe by Eurail pass; sleeping wherever they happened to be.
We had only a couple of letters from them during the whole summer which was probably an indication to us that they were having a wonderful time.
On July 30, Ricky was presented with another citation. This time he was awarded the Bronze Star Medal with 'V' Device:
I was "invited" by Gary and his friend, Dan Clark, to go with them to the movie Romeo and Juliet. These 14-years-old boys had just finished this classic in high school English Literature. The woman at the ticket window said to me, "I hope this movie doesn't embarrass you -- seeing it with your boys!" It didn't! They sat in seats apart from me, and by even those days' standards, it actually really wasn't so bad.
A few years later, Gary gave me the gift of a music box which played the theme song from Romeo and Juliet -- so I could be reminded of the time we went to the movie. (Gary is the most sentimental of my children.) But he was always to be depended upon whenever there were any down-to-earth practical decisions to be made.
September Barry and Susan returned from Europe, and we saw literally hundreds of their slides of the old, sometimes decadent, sometimes dilapitated, cathedrals and other interesting architecture on their sojourn in Europe. Especially, Barry liked Spain. He showed us a monstrosity of added-on architecture that was called Sagrada Familia. Its construction was begun at the turn of the century, and was only half finished when they were there.
After only two piano lessons, Gary became piano dispassionate, and again took guitar lessons.
On November 5, election day, we voted -- Bob for Richard Nixon, and I for (Democrat) Hubert Humphrey. Nixon unfortunately won. History will tell you why I was right and Bob was wrong!
Now, Mom was not well. Because she was so very active physically, I felt she just might suddenly succumb -- I would not be prepared for it.
On November 11, Phyl, George and I took her to Holy Family Hospital. Bill visited her later in the day, and told us she seemed to be quite violent!
The nurses told us how pretty our 71-year-old mother looked, and how young she seemed to be.
Driving home from being with her at Holy Family, I was necessarily distraught. I ran my car right against a cement underpass and stripped a piece of chrome from the side of my car!
Another day while under this stress, I backed out of the parking lot at the papermill, and scraped against the car parked next to me. It was Harry Sinclair's car. A more gentle person than our janitor at the mill, you could never hope to meet! I had our insurance fix Harry's car.
Dr. Puddy was the psychiatrist George called in, and he recommended that we take Mom to Medical Lake Hospital -- for the mentally ill.
On November 12 we dutifully and sadly drove Mom out to Medical Lake. Opal was adamant that Mom should be placed in the hospital, and shouldn't be just in a ward for custodial care. After the three days, Mom was transferred to Madison North Nursing Home where she would have nursing care.
Again, another accident! On December 22, a car slid into our Ford as we were on the way to visit Mom at the nursing home. The snow was so treacherous this winter! It turned out to be the most snow of any winter I could yet remember!
On January 10, 1969, at 6 p.m. my Mom passed away. Bob was too busy to help me with any of the details or be of support at this time, and I was more than a little put out with him. Remember all the times I went with him to visit his mother when she was terminally ill?
The women I worked with at the papermill again sent me some lovely flowers.
I might have gotten even with Bob, though! On the morning of Mom's funeral, I was cutting Bob's hair; the infamous butch or crew cut. The electric clippers had an attachment that measured the length the hair was to be cut, assuring uniform length. I was in a hurry, not being very careful. The little attachment slipped off of the clippers. I, in my horror, saw that I had cut a square of hair from Bob's head clear down to the scalp! This was not going to look good at a funeral! What to do? Quickly, I grabbed the Elmer's Glue and some of the hair off the floor. Thus, the bald spot was not obvious.
At Mom's services we requested the following to be read:
Service was on January 14, 1969.
This was the winter of all winters. The snow was terribly deep. Very few people attended her funeral, and no one went to The Pines Cemetery.
Bob drove me to work (only one mile away) for the whole hazardous week. On Sunday, January 26, no one was on the streets; the news was. . . stay home except in an emergency. The snow measured more than 33" and schools closed for three days. Everyone worried about having their roofs cave in; people put flags on their car antennae in order to be seen by other drivers when meeting at the snow-piled corners.
By this time, the snow was up to our dining room window.
The first weekend after Mom's funeral, I began to feel as if a 10-ton weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I actually felt happy again.
 Jay
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On February 16, our second grandchild, Jay Daniel Heck was born at 6:19 EST, in Brunswick, Maine. He weighed 8 lbs. 13 ozs. (In 1987 Jay started college at Washington State University on a full scholarship and changed his name to Jay Maxwell Gray.) |
In March I received a raise in pay, and began making $350/mo. When I retired in 1987, I was making $1330/mo.
After a severe case of the flu, Dr. Saxon found I had an over-active thyroid and would need to control the condition with a prescription.
In April I got contact lenses. I loved them, but felt a little self-conscious when I first thought of wearing them. But, told by some of my co-workers that I looked better without my glasses, I decided it was worth the effort.
While Barry was at W S U, he was put on the President's list. We were so proud of him!
On June 8, 1969, we went to Pullman for his graduation. He was listed as:
With our camper this summer we took several mini vacations. We took Gary, Barry and Susan to the Washington Coast. It was the first time Susan had ever seen an ocean, and she was very excited. It was amusing to see her happily romping in the surf -- very pregnant -- the baby being due in September.
In June Bob took a job with a friend, Ralph Farano, who was a radio amateur. He had an electronic business in Dishman called HCJ Electronics. (HCJ was from his ham call -- W7HCJ) and he was referred to as Honest Cousin John. While W7KYY, on the air, Bob called himself Ki-Yi-Yi! He worked for Ralph until February, 1970. Ralph had strange, cross-eyes. And Gary told him, "Dad said you wouldn't be bad looking if it weren't for your eyes!"
In July, Barry was hospitalized with appendicitis.
I looked up at the moon on a clear evening in July. I was thinking about someone's actually being up there at that very moment. It was July 20, and Neil Armstrong had become the first man to walk on the moon. This was a most momentous event happening during my lifetime. I was thrilled as I remembered my younger years when I stared at the moon, trying to see the man in the moon's face and wondering if anyone lived up there.
September 24, Barry Richard, Jr. was born. He was a beautiful child, and people would stop in admiration of him. After several nicknames, he finally became BJ, for Barry Jr.
Bob and I agreed that I should go to Freeport, Maine to see how Nikki and George were doing. This would be my first airplane trip, and I meant to have a good visit with Nikki, Dean and Jay!
When I arrived at the Portland Airport, no one was there to meet me. I had to take a taxi to Freeport. This set the mood for my visit.
George thought I had ulterior motives for going there, when in truth, I wanted to see Dean and meet my new grandson, Jay. Since I had studied up on the tourist attractions of Maine beforehand, I could see the resentment disappearing from George as I mentioned all the sights I wanted to see.
Nikki's in-laws had bought her a Volkswagen car after she finally got her drivers' license. George would never consider letting her drive his first love -- his Mercedes. This freedom to drive was to become George's downfall and Nikki's salvation. She could be a little independent now.
George was still being abusive to her, which was probably why he mistrusted my visit so much. I found him to be as overbearing as he usually was.
The baby, Jay, was very thin and also cranky. Dean was a little disturbing to me, as he made strange gestures, and wouldn't cuddle up when you held him as most little ones that age would do. He wouldn't look directly at me when I talked to him. I was more than a little distraught by his behavior.
First of all, on my visit, I was faced with the small problem that Dean didn't have shoes, and it was October! When we went into L. L. Bean's old store, I felt embarrassed with the fact that he had no shoes. I bought him some shoes.
We found a nice restaurant while sight-seeing, and had a lovely stuffed lobster dinner. That is, Nikki, Dean, and I had the dinner. Jay cried!
We visited a jail where in very early days they used to confine hardened criminals along with the debtors. We were shown where prisoners alongside were checked in, issued a straw mat, and then assigned a small cell with a tiny window looking out on the bay.
We saw the Pemquid Lighthouse, some Shakers' homes, and an atypical desert. As we were each carrying Dean and Jay, someone asked me, How old is your baby? Being a grandmother, I was flattered. I'm just his Grandmother!
When George would take us on a ride in the Mercedes, he strapped Dean in the front seat with the seatbelt, Nikki, I and the baby in the back seat.
In October, the people in New England observed Columbus Day -- and, being from the great Northwest, I found this custom really quaint. There were children playing with toy muskets representing the revolutionary period. People also were celebrating with Halloween with cornstalks decorating their front yards and hanging effigies from their trees and porches..
The trailer Nikki and George had was situated in an area with a lot of sand. Mosquitoes were prevalent, and Nikki had lots of bites on her legs. I was annoyed with the gritty, dirty sand tracked into the trailer. Looking for a broom, I was told George had tossed it out when he bought the Kirby vacuum cleaner. Whenever there was even a little sand to sweep up, she was supposed to get out the Kirby. I bought a broom, and used it while I was there -- didn’t care that he was sure to throw it away after I left.
George had become a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church and was into vegetarian food. He had become very slim. He imposed his religious lifestyle on Nikki; she was expected to turn out meals that had no meat, fowl, or fish ingredients. She made a very good soybean meatloaf.
As we were touring Maine, I thought her Volkswagen probably needed the water checked. We pulled into a gas station and I asked the attendant where the water was. He said, Oh, do you want a drink? I told him, No, it was for the car. He laughingly told me that Volkswagens did not use water!
I drove past a school zone just as the children were getting out of school, a policeman standing by the school bus seemed to be directing traffic, because he was holding out his hand in a kind of "STOP" indication. Slowing down, I started on past the bus that was facing me. This was a grave mistake. I was issued a ticket and a time to appear in court.
De-ja-vu . . . once more I needed to appear in court. I pleaded ignorance of traffic laws in Maine. I told the judge in the most appealing way I could muster that, in Washington, a school bus had a sign that flipped out from the side and demanded that you must "STOP," in addition to having flashing red lights.
The judge dismissed the charge and said he felt that since I was so far away from home, there was no threat to the State of Maine with my driving capabilities that he could see.
In January, we had to get cortisone shots for Dog. She was having more and more difficulty moving herself around.
I became somewhat dissatisfied with my job at the papermill. It was quite a lot of monotonous repeat work. Typing school bid letters, typing from the Dictaphone, sending messages on the teletype machine, typing purchase orders, subbing on the phone when the receptionist had breaks and lunch, and doing various other duties. I also thought I should be making a lot more money.
So, January 29, I took a Civil Service test for a Clerk/Stenno job. It included shorthand. They would consider the top three scorers for hiring. Now I had to wait and see.
Ricky was honorably discharged from the Army. He had just recently been at Madagan Hospital at Fort Lewis.
George Walker, since my Mom's death, went to live with his children in Kirkland, Washington. After a very short while, he called Opal and was crying! He was not at all happy with them. Opal and Bill told him to move into their house so they could look after him.
Bob changed jobs again -- there was always work in the electronics field. This time he was employed again with Inland Communication, where he worked until March, 1972.
The basement was due for a little remodeling. Bob put plug-ins and paneling up, and Gary and his friends fixed the basement floor with a poured coating. Considering their ages, they did a wonderful job!
Opal and I took a class on metal sculpture. We had some casting (lost wax process) which was disappointing. But, I got an acetylene welding outfit (oxygen tank and all) and Bob fixed me a welding studio in the shop part of the garage. I began collecting all kinds of scrap metal, steel ball bearings, welding rods, and any other items that I could use in my sculpture.
While visiting in Maine, I had told Nikki that if George ever became too abusive to her, we would pay for airplane tickets here in Spokane for her and the boys, and she could leave him any time she needed to.
So in March (she had a car now and could drive) she began mailing home boxes of some of her belongings. The man at her postoffice asked if she was planning on leaving.
She bought a green plaid suitcase and hid it in an evergreen tree on their property -- the trailer had nowhere to hide things without it's being discovered. George was working the evening shift.
April 9 after George had gone to work, Nikki called a taxi; wrote a message on the blackboard: Gone to Spokane. . . and then signed it Nikki, then added hurriedly . . . Dean and Jay.
Before she arrived here George discovered her defection and was calling us. Bob telling him we didn't know anything about it. George very shook-up.
We met Nikki and the boys at the airport, happy to have them home.
Then, we needed a baby crib and found a nice one at the Goodwill store.
Since we had missed Jay's first birthday, the first order was to bake him a birthday cake. He was a ravenous eater. He devoured cake and all of his babyfood with his fingers.
I went with Nikki to Family Court. She was trying to get support from George.
July, I heard from Civil Service. I was in the top three for a job at Lakeland Village. I was told, Yes, you have the job. . .whenever you want to start. It was a two-part job. In the mornings I would be working in the hospital offices with Dr. Wyborney, and afternoons with Dr. Bruno in the Psychology Department.
Giving my notice to Grace she said, No, we can 't afford to pay you what you will be making on Civil Service. So on August 17, I began the drive to Lakeland Village. I bought a 1966 Pontiac and was set to be in a carpool with three of us taking turns driving for four of us.
I typed from the hospital charts, and found it to be true that the handwriting of Doctors is hard to decipher.
On payday (once a month) we would stop at The Shack Restaurant on the way home and have a couple of drinks.
The people in the Psychology Department were a strange bunch. They would stand around our desks and talk about the residents on the halls -- and referred to the "kids" because that was about as far as the residents' development had progressed. I typed evaluations for psychology which were necessary to, and review for, their staying at Lakeland Village.
This fall, during football season, I welded. Every Sunday I would retreat to the workshop and weld up all that junk I had accumulated. It was was really something to see material as resistive as metal becoming hot, melting, and then being malleable enough to be coaxed into something else.
I told one of the nurses at work about my hobby, and she asked me to make her an eagle -- it was the first of several eagles that I made. She had a new house, and wanted to place the eagle, with an overall 36" wingspan, on a steel rod at an angle in front of her white fireplace. Happy with the results, she paid me $20.
I made a ship for a man in the Psychology Department. We went through lots of pictures of sailing ships until we settled on one he liked and that I could possibly make. Years later, I saw him when I was registering runners for Bloomsday, and he told me he still had the sculpture on his family room wall.
When we were in Seattle at the zoo, I studied giraffes and came home and made one. Also, I made birds; pheasants, and a wall sculpture of two prairie chickens doing a mating dance. (honest!) This was at the request of a young man who worked at the papermill. He gave it to his wife for Christmas, and he told me she was so happy when she saw it that she cried! Is it not good that your creations can bring tears?
The library in Millwood exhibited some of my efforts, and put a writeup in the Valley Herald. From this exposure, I was asked to exhibit in another library out by Whitworth College. So, I borrowed back some of the articles I had sold. The library had an exceptional set-up for the display. The shelves, backed in orange, were enclosed by glass doors. I was one person who was quite impressed!
My welding became production when I was asked to do repeat work. So long as I was trying something new, I was enthusiastic.
During lunch, in Psychology, we played with an ouija board. We asked lots of nonsensical questions, and then went for some serious ones. The one that astounded us the most was to investment in stock for Lil Squaw Gold. We all pooled our money, and each put $20 into shares. When we asked, When should we sell this? The answer was, Wait for Getty. Funny advice. Getty was into oil, not gold! I might have to keep my shares for a long time!
At the Lakeland Hospital, I became acquainted with a boy who was confined to a wheelchair, a victim of cerebral palsy. He was very intelligent, and gave me a copy of a poem he had written:
Gary was 16 in September and could drive. After some minor mishaps, he finished off our pickup-camper. We did'nt use it very much last summer anyway.
I thought it would be a good idea to have Dean evaluated at Lakeland Village because his development was so slow. At age three, he would make no attempt to say even one word, although we coaxed and pleaded.
We took him for evaluation, and he was diagnosed (labeled) autistic. The Community Health Center took his case.
From the library at Lakeland Village I found books on autism. The designation as such of this disorder was made about 1946. Before that time, it was not singled out and identified as any specific condition of disability.
I began going once a week with Nikki to meet with parents of other autistic children and their counselors. We learned a lot; one important thing being that Dean was not nearly so bad as some of the other children. The students in Psychology at Eastern State University worked with these children. Dean finally began to make "eye contact." And when he did, the behavior was reinforced with M & M candy. We noticed progress being made.
About this time Opal and Bill moved next door into Mom's house, bringing George as they were still taking care of him.
Bob worked at Western Communication from March until August of this year. He didn't like the people there, and he was let go because he refused to go out on a call on a Sunday. He was just too independent.
I continued to work at Lakeland Village until June. After driving that distance on slick, winter highways, I was ready to change jobs.
Grace, my former supervisor at the papermill, offered me my job back, and at the salary they couldn't afford to pay me when I left ten months ago. It was more pay than I was getting at Lakeland. With the State Civil Service job, there was continual talk about RIF (reduction in force) . It was not feeling like "job security." I gave notice and the personnel office asked me to put into writing the salary I would be getting in the "civilian" world so as to possibly help get better pay for the people who worked there.
On the first of June, I again was employed at the papermill.
Nikki moved to Loretta and Allen's house further down Empire. I went there after work to babysit for Nikki while she went to meetings at Mental Health. I often came home from work frazzled, but went to Nikki's to help her out. Once she unthinkingly stopped to visit at her aunt and uncle's and I was kept waiting for her, and it was getting late. I wanted to get home and take those awful, irritating contact lenses out. So I was cross with her and hoped she wouldn't be so inconsiderate again.
Nikki was very passive with the boys, and we all thought they needed disciplining. So, when she met Tom Gray at church, we were happy because they hit it off. He ruled with a firm hand and her boys needed that. He and Nikki were married April 22, 1972, in the Valley Foursquare Church.
Gary had many friends, both male and female. One girl, Kelly, was born on the same day that he was. Each year they celebrated their birthdays; sometimes baking themselves a birthday cake in my kitchen. These friendships were never serious although they were long-lasting.
So I was not exactly expecting this when Gary came home and was introducing me to a girl who seemed to be pretty special -- Gerri Allen. He didn't have to tell me! I knew by his attitude that he was indeed saying, "Here she is, Mom. How do you like her?" I remember Gerri was wearing a white blouse which complemented her lovely, wholesomeness. These two were born just four weeks apart to the day; both born in Sacred Heart Hospital! They now became inseparable. Gerri had a great sense of humor. I found it very refreshing.
 Gary Nance
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Gary's Baccalaureate was Sunday May 21, and he graduated from East Valley High School on May 30. He was awarded a grant to go to Gonzaga University for the next year to study Electrical Engineering. We were proud of his achievement! |
Barry and Susan and B J were with us for Gary’s graduation which was outside on the football field. At the graduation, a man approached us and said he had seen B J the previous day at Ron's Burgers and had thought how darling he was!
Also, at the graduation, Bob said, "There's Howard Cossell." I thought, "Oh, no!" Howard Cossell was a sports broadcaster who was on national TV. Bob always watched football games. What he meant to say was Howard Capell, a fellow he had known back in West Valley High School days!
We had a family reunion picnic at Paul and Nora's in May. It was lots of fun to get together. We sang songs while Bob or Allen played Bob's guitar.
June 16 through 24, Bob and I went on a vacation to Boulder, Colorado, returning to the places we remembered when we were married 29 years ago. We enjoyed viewing Aztec ruins, the steam engine train that went from Durango, Colorado, to Silver City, the Cliff Dwellings, and an Indian Kiva where we heard played recordings of Indian chants and drums beating while we were inside this huge, round structure.
Bob applied for an Instrument job for the City of Spokane and we had to go to Olympia where Bob took the test. On the way home, I was taking my turn at driving while Bob dozed next to me. It was raining very hard. I was going too fast, not being familiar with the highway. I was following a big semi truck when Bob woke up and said, "Go around that thing." I put my foot to the floor and started around. There was not enough space because of a metal railing on the left side which I skimmed, and it threw the car sideways across the right lane. When I steered it to a stop, I ended up on the extreme right shoulder of the highway. Luckily, there were no cars approaching! Our car was dented down the entire one side.
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