1951 - 1955
Children and Happy Times

Nikki was about three years old and she was watching baby chicks in a cardboard box in Phyl’s kitchen. There was an electric light in the box to provide warmth. Whenever Phyl turned the light on, the babies all clambered out. Nikki stood watching them and said, "Oh, look! They think it' s "moning" don't they?"

One spring day, Nikki and I were cleaning out the car and washing its windows. She said, "Aren't we nice ladies?" Always called herself a "gill" -- never a "lady!"
Etta Walker's Grandkids

She called the doll she got at age one "Snooks Baby." There was a TV program featuring Fanny Brice in which Fanny portrayed "Baby Snooks." Later, a big doll she had was "Baby Sally," and Baby Sally said, "I like Ike." A slogan used during Republican Eisenhour's campaign.

She was carrying a bunch of bright pink flowering Hawthorne blossoms. She looked very solemn and asked me, "Do I look like a prince?" (probably she meant bride.)


Barry Nance

And when Barry was five he decided he really did not like to play cowboys-and-Indians because. . . "it's just a waste of boom-boom and bang-bang!"

August, Bob got a good job at Westinghouse in the Service Department. He and three other men drove orange and blue vans and did repair work on Westinghouse appliances. They worked on ranges, washers and dryers. He had been studying radio and television through several different correspondence courses throughout the years. Television had not yet made it to Spokane. When TV did come to town, Bob became the primary TV repairman at Westinghouse. He was one of the few in Spokane who were qualified to work on TV’s.

Dennis and Florence were expecting their third baby, Cindy, and some neighbors were also having babies. We wanted another baby; a boy or girl, it didn't matter. I actually felt I must either have another child or go to work. At this time, I chose the easier (?) of the two.

We told Barry and Nikki they would have a little brother or sister come Thanksgiving time.

Then, as I was head of the committee for decorations for Nikki's Preschool Mothers' Tea, I planned a garden theme. I made almost all of the decorations myself. I bought wood and sawed pieces for a walk-through arbor. The sawing I did in the third month of pregnancy possibly started small labor cramps. I went right to bed, and we called Dr. Pierce. He came to the house. I miscarried. He examined the fetus, and said, "Well, it certainly looks normal. But, sometimes a miscarriage is nature's way of getting rid of an imperfect baby."

I asked, "Dr. Pierce, what should I tell the children? They were hoping for a brother or sister?" He said, "Oh, just tell them that it will take a little longer than you first figured."

I blamed myself, though, and was in a terrible depression.

One lovely spring day I left Barry home. Opal and I were going downtown shopping. Bill and Opal lived next door in Mom and George's house. Bill was watching Barry for me. I had washed clothes before leaving, and had them hanging on the lines to dry. It started to rain rather hard, and Barry told Bill, "I think my mother would appreciate it, Bill, if you'd take her clothes in."

One time Barry was in his bedroom and I was in the kitchen. I told him to quit doing something which I was pretty sure he shouldn't be up to. He asked his dad, "How could she see me?" Can mothers see around corners?"

Nikki had a gold heart locket on a chain and it was underneath the clothes she was wearing. When she discovered it there she said, "Hey! Here's my heart! I was wondering all over for that heart!"

Barry began Kindergarten in the fall -- which was an important time for all of us. His teacher, Mrs. Gahley, said he had good rhythm, so I decided he should have dancing lessons. Opal also had Ricky take the class. Mrs. Gahley said he could draw well (I knew that) and also said that he joined in on all the activities. He could read from "Fun with Dick and Jane," of course. His speech was very good, except: "I were" instead of "I was." He liked airplanes, Leanna Hunt (a neighbor girl) and Jeanelle Gessell from Kindergarten.

Another spring, another Mothers' Tea -- Opal and I had Barry and Ricky performing their Chinese Dance to music from the Nutcracker Suite. Although right after this, Barry wanted to quit dancing lessons, and confessed he hadn't liked dancing right along, but hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings.

For her fourth birthday, Nikki was given a wrist watch that she could wear as soon as she was able to tell time. I took it from its box, wound it, and tried it on her. She listened to it tick. When I put it back into its box I was expecting to hear protests. All she said was, "Turn it off."

Barry was in the first grade the fall of 1952. Mrs. Bailey said she didn' t have to teach Barry, because he already knew before she even told him. At home he was typing Barry is a bee. I asked what that meant. He said, in his class it was the fastest reading group. He played in the rhythm band in the Christmas program.

Another time I was working on the carnival decorations at school and Barry told Mrs. Bailey that his little sister was at school with his mother that afternoon, and asked if he might bring her to his room. He came into the gym to get her, took her by the hand, and they walked away across the gym floor -- it sure did please this mother! His friends in class told him his sister was cute.
Nikki Nance

This is so typical of a seven-year-old: Barry and I were planning his birthday party. It would be the first party he had ever had. I invited some of the first grade boys, and as it was so close to Christmas, I said on the invitation: do not bring presents. Later, I overheard Barry telling Butchie and Johnny, "You're not supposed to bring me any presents; but if you do, I sure would appreciate it!" He came down with mumps the very day before the party, and was unable to have a first party in celebration of his birthday.

Nikki was about four when she started across the field to Mom annd George’s grocery store to spend two pennies and a nickel. She came back home very soon -- no candy, and no money. She had lost the nickel and one of the pennies on the way there. So then she decided to go back to the store and spend her one penny. This time when she came home, she was loaded with candy. She said she had found her "white" penny in the road, "the one that had the 'goat' and the 'chief'on it." It was a buffalo nickel. One side was a buffalo, and the other had an Indian on it.

On an extremely windy day, Nikki and I were waiting for the bus to take her to dancing lessons. As we were standing behind a huge signboard to shield us from the wind, we were talking about how terribly windy it was. Nikki said, "Yes, and that big tree over there is sure making a lot of wind!"

This summer Barry took swimming lessons and learned to swim a little. He became a stock car enthusiast after seeing one race. Bob took him almost twice a week through September. Barry learned most of the cars by their numbers, and also learned who most of the drivers were. . .mentioning Gary Schuback and Earl Wham.

Barry did not want to go to Bible School this summer; but when he saw the New Testament that was given to Nikki, he changed his mind and went too. The teacher said Nikki didn't say one word during the whole two-week session.

"This heat these days sure gives me an appetite, " Barry said.

In June, the Korean armistice ending the war was signed.

When Nikki started Kindergarten, the teacher, Mrs. McLaughlin, put most of Nikki's work on the board because she could draw well. She said, "Nikki likes school." At the first preschool meeting, she told me, "She's gradually getting over her shyness, I'd rather have them a little shy than too forward." She said, "Nikki has such a soft little voice, She is darling."

When Barry was seven, he asked me, "Why do people die?" Since most children worry about death, I thought I'd be evasive and answer by saying, "I don't know . . . why are people born?" He said, "I don't know, Mom, but I kinda thought you did!"

Bob worked for Westinghouse until June, 1954, when he was offered a profit-sharing job with Norm's TV in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho. He began working there and we put the "homestead" up for sale. We didn’t move there until October.

I took the children swimming about three times a week at Sandy Beach at Liberty Lake. Nikki at age six loved the water and stayed in it the entire time we were at the beach.

She was playing with her cousin, Darlene, and Jo, the next door neighbor girl. The two girls were telling Nikki that they were bossy. Jo said, "Well, I'm bossy, you know." Darlene said, "Yes, and I'm bossy, too." Nikki quelled them both with, "Well, I'm stub-bor-un!"

Mrs. Myers, Barry's third grade teacher, said he was excellent in all subjects, and she felt he would surely do something with his life.

And Mrs. Kennel, Nikki's first grade teacher said her behavior was excellent, and her test grades were high normal, "at the top.’"


Gary Nance

Now, we had our baby. Gary was born September 30, and weighed 7 Ibs. 6 oz., and, as I always did it, I delivered five days late! I was very determined to have this baby before the end of September, because anytime thereafter would put him a year later in starting first grade. I was in and out of Sacred Heart Hospital, as I was being "induced," and it wasn't working! When I went back for the final time on the 30th, I overheard a male nurse outside of my hospital room telling someone to ". . . go ahead and give Mrs. Nance her meals because she is probably not going to stay."

But, I refused food because I knew I was going to have my baby! I began having actual labor and the last thing I remembered was having one long hard pain that didn't stop. I had dear Dr. Pierce for this delivery. Had I not miscarried last year, we would never have had Gary!

We sold our house on East Empire for $6,500 when Gary was just two weeks old. We immediately did some pretty heavy lifting and stair-climbing, as we moved into an upstairs apartment in Coeur d' Alene. But we all did survive. Allen was on hand to help -- such a wonderful brother-in-law!

While living there, we were bargaining for a new house which was being built. We began choosing paint colors and carpeting etc. While it was being finished up, we lived in that apartment.

The kids spoiled the baby. He cried whenever he wasn't getting a good amount of attention. I did a lot of holding, rocking, and carrying him about while doing housework. The real problem was that the formula wasn' t satisfying him. In desperation, I undertook to give him homogenized milk in his bottle. He immediately became a satisfied baby! I called the pediatrician and told him what I was doing, and he said it was all right.

Gary was played with a lot, and he smiled when he was six weeks old. We amused him by:

Barry and Nikki transferred to Bryan School in Coeur d' Alene. Barry's teacher, Mrs. Stone, said some nice things about Barry. She said he "inspired the whole class." He was a Cub Scout, and did outstanding work.

Nikki's teacher was Mrs. Burton. She said Nikki was very quiet, but she didn't think she was shy. She played well with the other children, and held her own. She was quick to answer when called on.

Barry age eight and Nikki age six were playing in a bedroom of our apartment (and I was astounded to overhear their conversation which was like): Nikki was saying, "Barry, wouldn't it be nice to have a doll like Mommy? -- Wouldn't she be pretty?" Barry came into the living room and asked me if I had heard what Nikki said. "Yes, but I couldn't believe it!" Then Nikki came in and said, "and Barry said 'yes' when I asked him that."

Gary got his first tooth a few days before he was two months old.

Nearing the end of the year, 1954, it appeared there would be no "profits" to share with Norm's TV, so Bob quit, and on January 1, 1955, we moved back to the valley to my Mom's house which was usually available for those of us who needed it.

We re-enrolled Barry and Nikki back at Trent School. They were such good kids. They didn't seem at all traumatized by the "now you' re going to school at Trent" (September) "now you' re going to school at Bryan" (October) "now you are back at Trent" (January) and one more transfer before the school year ended, Opportunity School (March)!

Bob was looking for work. Westinghouse offered him a service territory of his own covering all of the Spokane Valley. He didn't think he could handle it, and turned it down. I tried to cajole him into it, and ended up saying, "I am disappointed in you." (I regretted saying that!)

Bob was hired at Kaiser Aluminum & Chemical where Bill was employed, and where the husband of Nikki's Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. McLaughlin, was head of personnel.

The pay was very good. His foreman was my old childhood friend and neighbor, Harry Tesch. The assembly line work became Bob's undoing. All day long he was turning aluminum sheets -- on the "hot line." He worked shift work. As he was used to having work that required concentrated mental powers and was used to solving electronic problems; this job was not working out well for him. The job was all but impossible!

Gary was progressing rapidly, and sat alone with no support at four months.

We looked for a place to buy, and bought a new house on East Ninth. We moved in on March 5. I was happy with the place as it had neighbors with children for playmates for Barry and Nikki.

The house had three nice bedrooms, and a large living room and large kitchen. Also, I liked the daylight basement. It did not, however, have a fireplace or garage. But it was the first new house we ever had, and it was really quite nice,

We moved to this house and had to take the kids out of Trent School once more. They now had to be enrolled in the Opportunity Grade School. Mrs. Kennel at Trent School was saying to me, "I won' t tell you 'goodbye' this time, as you'll probably be back!" Mrs. Kennel was clairvoyant?

At our new house, I was busy arranging furniture, making curtains and drapes, not very worried or concerned about what was happening with Bob. But, Bob was obsessed with making his world dark, dark, dark. He hung blankets at the bedroom windows; then would try desperately to get some sleep. I was a little put out since Bob could have been helping me some with the business of getting us all settled. Possibly I should have had some inkling of what was to come, but I had no experience to draw from. Shift work did not do much to help the situation either -- I thought that was the real reason for his losing so much sleep.

Soon Bob was unable to sleep or eat. He didn't want to get out of bed except he would when it was time for him to leave for work . . . then, he couldn't go to work!

His standard favorite cliches seemed to be: "I' m just a square peg in a round hole," and, "I'm afraid I will cause an accident at work," and, "I don't know if I can 'cut the mustard'." He also told me he wanted to be dead! -- not that he wanted to kill himself, but that he just wanted to be dead!

I realized I had to get my act together and quickly decided my primary concern had to be getting medical attention for Bob.

A psychiatrist was referred to me by Dr. Pierce. He was Dr. H. Ryle Lewis. Dr. Lewis recommended taking Bob to St. Lukes Hospital and confine him for evaluation. Allen went with me on March 17 to take him there. I was extremely horrified to see Bob being led through a door (with iron bars over its small window). . . a door which needed a key with which to enter.

Going back for the results of the evaluation, I was advised that he was "deeply depressed" and should stay there a couple of weeks and begin Electric Shock Treatments. We had no insurance that covered this type of illness.

At this trying time, I had to go to the Opportunity School for a conference with Mrs. Williams, Barry's teacher. She said, "Barry is doing so well! You can always tell when a child comes from a well-adjusted family environment!"

Mom Nance called me and said, "Well, we might just have to give up on Bob . ." I said, "No way, I'll never do that!" "Oh, God, I can't handle this."

One day, feeling very low, I went into the room where Gary was sleeping. Kneeling by his crib, I hugged him, put my head against him as he slept, prayed and cried. Afterwards, it was as though I had gained strength from his little being. There was hope for the future because I had my children who needed me.

A TV commercial haunted me while I stayed up all hours and it kept playing through my mind:

This made me wonder how well was I really holding up. .?

Harry Tesch called me to ask what Bob's "diffulgalty" was in being off work. I said he was having a nervous breakdown. Five days after Bob was hospitalized, his department at Kaiser needed confirmation of Bob's illness and the prognosis. I received a copy from his doctor:

Bob was able to get back to work in about three months but with medication. He didn't believe in taking medication and discontinued it on his own after a while. He felt he had to -- "do this on his own." There were some tough months ahead for us.

I told Allen that March 17 had bad connotations for me. March 17, 1943, Bob left for Farragut and war duty; March 17, 1955, he was admitted to a psychiatric ward. Allen said, "Maybe something great will happen to you someday on that date."

While going through this crisis, Bob was insecure about spending money. Opal gave Gary his first pair of hard-soled walking shoes (which he needed) in an Easter basket. We were so appreciative! Opal always knew what to do.

At eight months old, Gary was saying "Goodbye," and waving his hand while saying it.

Some cute words he was playing around with: He put pumma in front of some words - Pummajammas, Pummaghetti, Pummanana, and he would say "peachers" for "peaches."

When Gary was through eating, or just through with something, he would say, "It’s all weared out!"

Some of his nicknames were: "Dude," "Salty Britches," "Gabie, Gabie Gockett," (Davy Crockett), and "Gee - Gee."

This depression Bob was going through caused Bob to worry about any and everything. He would say, "The car is running okay now, but it will probably break down soon." And, "We're able to make our bill payments now, but I don't know how long we'll be able to keep it up." This negativeness was not normal for him. He normally was very contented and happy. He would whistle and sing; his voice was very good, and everyone told him so.

Now he did a lot of pacing, and often said that I would be better off without him.

I was still trying to organize our belongings after our move to this house. Bob was home, but absolutely had no interest in life. As I was in the basement arranging his papers and equipment, I had the eerie feeling that I was going through his private effects as though he had died!

We took the children to the Natatorium Park. Bob was trying to participate physically by riding the roller coaster with our children and Opal and her children. I could see him going up, down, around -- showing no reaction to the ride . . . A song from a children's record came to my mind:
Natatorium Park

This is nonsense that my mind seized upon --

In the fall, Barry and Nikki began the school year at the new University School.