And of all axioms this shall win the prize --
'tis better to be fortunate than wise.
John Webster

I spent weeks trying to tie up loose ends:

I had to cash out Bob's IRA account. It was for $3,000; the agent who helped me said, "It's too bad it's not for $30,000." I cashed two small life insurance policies -- $663 and $744. I made calls and wrote seven letters to try to collect Bob’s outstanding accounts receivables. I wasn't at all sure they were outstanding, but it was one way to find out.

It was possible to sell back the membership with Family Fitness. In order to get back $500, I had to pay $49 of back dues. The account at Comtron was closed and I sent back a couple of radios. PEMCO Insurance refunded the balance of insurance paid on Bob's pickup. Social Security paid a Veterans' death benefit of $225.

At work, I had to change beneficiaries on my pension, life insurance and the Credit Union savings account. The deposit box was okay -- it needn’t be changed to just my name. At the Washington Water Power the stock was changed to my name only.

Tom and Nikki drove me to Reardan (west of Spokane) to look for a customer who owned a television that I had. We had no idea where this person lived, but inquired at the postoffice and were able to get directions to his house.

Barry took the fish out of the fishpond and kept them in his aquarium for the winter.

I varnished the new wooden stormdoor which I didn't get put up. Some of my clothes needed attention; a little remodeling.

Leo told Opal he was sure I would be married again within two years!

On November 20, I wanted to rake the leaves. This thankless job could never be accomplished until the weather was cold and leaves were ice-covered. So, I came home from work at noon with this big project in mind. After working awhile, I decided to quit early and read the paper instead.

I saw in the paper that there was a Hospice group for ''widowed" persons. A phonecall gave me the particulars. I went to their meeting that same evening. It was held in St. Paul's Methodist Church on Monroe Street.

These meetings were set up to be beneficial in that they provided small support groups and it was a lot of help to talk to others who were in the grief process. Meeting topics were -- "How to survive the holidays"; "How to do your income tax"; "How to make your house secure," etc. It was not for meeting a new special person!

I contributed very little to the meeting except the only thing I could think of was, "My children insisted that I get a security light, a smoke alarm, and a garage door opener."

Sitting a few seats behind me was a man who did contribute during the meeting.

There was coffee served after the meeting. This person came over to where I was standing and began a conversation. I told him about raking leaves that day, and having not finished up. He introduced himself, "I'm Ted Norcross . . . Norcross, like the greeting cards?" We talked for a while, and then . . .

Ted said, "I was married 37 years in June and my wife died in June." I was utterly dumbfounded because . . .

"I was married 37 years in July and my husband died in July!" I said. I wondered, "is this providential?"

He asked me, "Do you need a friend -- just someone to do things with on weekends?" I hesitated, then gave him my phone number and said to check with me. He took out a little date book and wrote my name and number on a page that we later noticed was on my birthday!

Ted said he had three children; a girl, a boy, and a girl. I told him I also had three children; a boy, a girl, a boy.

Another man was trying to edge in on our conversation. He seemed to want to come home with me and rake my leaves. This person asked me to go somewhere after the meeting for coffee. I said, "I don't think so." Ted said to him, "I’ll drop you off somewhere if you'd like."

Two days later Ted called me and asked if he could take me for brunch the next day (Sunday). We went to the Bread Basket in the Shadle area. Barry had a standing invitation to come have Sunday dinner with me whenever he wanted to. I wouldn't go to any trouble but he usually didn't get regular meals. Ted and I came in and Barry was in the kitchen. Barry was quite surprised to see me with this stranger.

I told Ted I couldn't spend that Sunday afternoon with him as I was slated to go to a meeting. He asked, "What kind of meeting is that?"

Explaining that it was a meeting for people who had had Colostomy surgery, he got a few details about what that meant.

Things were lightening up, and I began thinking about the ordeal(s) that my sister had gone through, and knowing she had always wanted an opal ring, I decided to go to The Bon and get one for her. This was good therapy for me, too.

Tom and Nikki took Barry and me out for Thanksgiving dinner at a popular restaurant called Clinkerdaggers.

After Thanksgiving, Ted called to ask me to help him buy Christmas presents for his girls. Before we got into shopping, we went to Clinkerdaggers and had lunch in the lounge. Talking it out felt very good. So nice to have a sympathetic listener. Getting a lot out of my system, I started to cry. "It's okay," he said, "I'll just tell the waiters to leave us alone and they will get a good tip."

We ordered drinks. I pondered about what kind of drink to order -- a nice conservative vodka Collins so he wouldn't get the wrong impression? But, I said, I’ll have a Manhattan." Ted looked at me with amazement. I thought, "Oh, oh, I shouldn't have said that!" But he was saying to me, "That's what I always drink!"

We gave up on the shopping for that day, and he showed me where he lived. He had moved into a mobile home retirement park a few months prior to his wife's death. I met his Sheltie dog, Misty.

I was still having NO LUCK getting the time-loss money from the Great American Insurance. I had to call their California office and interpret their contract for them. "Bob's time-loss was not a result of his suicide and thus excluded. But the time loss from work was before the fact of his suicide, and so covered."

"Yes," I was called back at work, "You are entitled to the benefit." Several weeks later, still no check. I had excellent assistance from Ted’s attorney. "Mrs. Nance is at a loss to know why she has not received that payment." I got the check almost by return mail. It was only $279, but it was due me!

I had Tom and Nikki come over to meet Ted.

Opal and Bill met Ted December 5 and this is when I gave her the ring. Later, Bill told me that Opal cried when she got the ring and said, "This is the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me!"

Doris and Carol

It was my turn to meet Ted’s family. I met his daughter and her husband, Doris, and Larry Jarrett, and their little daughter, Amanda. And December 7, I met the other daughter, Carol, her husband Rick Oliver, and their boys, Kevin and Shawn. Momentarily, Carol was due to have an Oliver baby. That same evening, she went to the hospital and Michael Scott was born.

Jim and Dorothy were always looking out for me (or anybody who needed looking after) and they took me to a melodrama at Fort Wright College.

December 12 I had a phonecall before I was out of bed. It was Pat Hall telling me "quick, turn on the TV. Ted Norcross is on a program talking about how he was helped by Hospice." I just got in on the tail-end of it. Then when I got to work, Sunny Bennett told me she also had seen that guy, Ted on T V. Ted had a full-time job with Block Watch. They organized neighborhood meetings.

That evening Ted and I went to a Christmas party at the Cascade Mobile Home Park. We had a very busy party schedule this Christmas. It was almost overwhelming.

December 13 Ted and I babysat Mark and Greg for Gary and Gerri. While there, Barry came over and was having a "sad" attack. He was in the doldrums because of his divorce from Susan. Not good company, and Ted thinking he probably shouldn 't get serious about me if Barry disliked him so much. But, during the evening, Gerri called to see how things were going, and she said of Ted, "We like him!"

Ted's Lions Club had a party. I met a lot of nice people. After we left this party, we continued on to another party given at the YMCA. Ted' s fellow employees at Block Watch were invited to this one.

On the 22nd, we went to a Police Guild party; a get-together also in connection with Block Watch.

Christmas Eve we were invited to the home of a friend from MSC. While I was sitting on the floor chatting, someone asked me how Ted and I met. In all seriousness, I began, "Well, I saw this ad in the newspaper . . ." And before I could continue, everyone started laughing. They thought I was being facetious.

Christmas was family time. I had dinner for all of my kids and grandkids, and also invited Charlotte Rathbun whom I had met through the Ostomy group.

December 26 Ted and I went to brunch at Gary and Gerri's.

On December 27, Ted took Doris, Larry and me to the Ivy. The appetizers, dinner, drinks, dessert and tip cost him $93.

Ted met Leo and Phyl on the 28th.

December 31 we helped decorate the Cascades Park recreation room for the New Years Eve dance and midnight buffet.

So ends the year, 1980. Ted said, "I think we were tested, and we must have passed."